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TC (Transcription & Translation Challenge): "Commen

 
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eldin raigmore
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PostPosted: Sun Nov 09, 2008 6:06 pm    Post subject: TC (Transcription & Translation Challenge): "Commen Reply with quote

"Comment" by Dorothy Parker ((c) 1926 renewed (c) 1954)
(From "Not So Deep as a Well", 1937)

Quote:
Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

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Hemicomputer



Joined: 04 Feb 2008
Posts: 610
Location: Calgary, Alberta

PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 1:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

, j ans vesl karon len xlntr km,
J geltmicl twrv xi entvr len;
Al dole j ord enlxvel hnal aswn kra,
Al Muri Rmni len kl.

/o ZOI 'C{nsu vEs'lA 'k{rOn lEn 'Xlentr\= kom
ZOI 'NEltmiSl tU4v Xi wEn'tovr\ lEn
{l 'DOlE ZOI Or\D wEnlA'Xfel R\n{l 'w{sUn k4{
{l m@'4i 4o'meniA lEn kol/

, j ans vesl karon len xln-tr km,
j gelt-micl twr-v xi en-tvr len;
al dole j ord en-l-xvel hnal aswn kra,
al Muri Rmni len kl.

oh, a cycle glorious song of live-noun be,
a sound-mixed action-pl pst neg-think of;
and love a thing neg-cap-fail time eternal for,
and Marie Romania of be.1.

EDIT: Trv enset (unknowing actions) revised to trv xi entvr (actions not previously thought [about]).


Last edited by Hemicomputer on Thu Jan 01, 2009 7:02 pm; edited 4 times in total
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eldin raigmore
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 10, 2008 11:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hemicomputer wrote:
a sound-mixed action-pl neg-know of;
Does this mean you don't know how to translate "extemporanea" into your conlang? or that they would use "unknown action" rather than a closer synonym to "work-of-art prepared with insufficient time, or in an uncustomarily short time"?
Parker was saying that the songs of which life is a glorious cycle, come to us without time to perfect them first. If they are impromptu -- done with no time at all -- they're spontaneous; if they're done without time to consider completely, they're extemporaneous.
Or at least that's what I think she was saying.
See
these
and maybe a couple of
these.
Also this.
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Hemicomputer



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't know exactly what "extemporanea" meant, I guessed it to mean something like "improvisation." "Tr enset" would translate as "unknowing action," not "unknown action," since improvisation is acting without knowing what exactly you plan to do.

I will revise my translation posthaste!
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eldin raigmore
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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 4:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hemicomputer wrote:
I didn't know exactly what "extemporanea" meant, I guessed it to mean something like "improvisation." "Tr enset" would translate as "unknowing action," not "unknown action," since improvisation is acting without knowing what exactly you plan to do.

I will revise my translation posthaste!
Aha. Then that was probably the right translation; I just misunderstood the glossing.

(BTW: The burden of the poem is, of course, "If love is a thing that can never go wrong, then I am the Queen of Romania". In other words it's an absurd fantasy to think that love can never go wrong)
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Hemicomputer



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PostPosted: Tue Nov 11, 2008 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

eldin raigmore wrote:

(BTW: The burden of the poem is, of course, "If love is a thing that can never go wrong, then I am the Queen of Romania". In other words it's an absurd fantasy to think that love can never go wrong)

I rather like how cleverly she delivers this message!
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Tolkien_Freak



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 13, 2008 3:22 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Kilhiryui

Ai, yeuyar elhyayuyei hyaraurin,
Eheyeur uvayayuyei hyaraurin;
Kerrude ulatuzigyurei enyelin;
Mariarrude Rauminayuyei eun.


/Ai jEMjAji4 eKjAjMjei hjA4AM4in
ehejeM4 MvAjAjMjei hjA4AM4in
kerMde MlAtMziNjM4ei enjelin
mA4iArMde 4AMminAjMjei eMn/

ai, yeuya-r elhya-yui-ei hyaraur-in,
eheyeu-r uvaya-yui-ei hyaraur-in;
ke-r-rude ulat-uzig-yur-ei enyeli-n;
Maria-r-rude Raumina-yui-ei eu-n.

oh, cycle-COP song-GEN-ADJ life-STAT,
medley-COP random.action-GEN-ADJ life-STAT;
thing-COP-and fail-POT-NEG-ADJ love-STAT;
Marie-COP-and Romania-GEN-ADJ me-STAT.


Heh, it follows a nice little pattern there. I believe you've just given me an idea for a concultural poetry style.
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eldin raigmore
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 14, 2008 5:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Tolkien_Freak wrote:
Kilhiryui
Heh, it follows a nice little pattern there. I believe you've just given me an idea for a concultural poetry style.
That's great, T_F!
Thanks, everyone.
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StrangeMagic
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PostPosted: Sat Nov 15, 2008 2:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
A medley of extemporanea;
And love is a thing that can never go wrong;
And I am Marie of Romania.

Ya, nalmiak nan-desi-bohuaoi-saliri shi,
Yunayiya desi nayuqres
Oun yuachuzo ja n nayida sushir shi
Oun Mari desi Lomayniya sho.


Oh, life cycle-of-song-glorious-EQU to be-PRS-3rd
Medley of preparation-to be little
And love thing that wrong never-to be to be-PRS-3rd
And Marie of Romania to be-PRS-1st
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