Vreleksá

Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 3:51 am Post subject: Random Emitare poetry

IDK if this counts as translation, but feel free to translate into your lang:

Oyata kesa.
Venani-
Ivö kesa ma
Önarüu öyalhe
Yae ma, nere.
Takani-
Eo kesa ma
Taka veu sjirila
Alü ma, nere.
Kesaya.

oyat-a kesa
fall-PROG rain[STAT]
venan-i
summer-COP
ivö kesa ma
clean rain[ACT] you[STAT]
önarü-u öyalh-e
peaceful-REP world-STAT
yae ma ne-re
happy you[STAT] time-DEM
takan-i
winter-COP
eo kesa ma
hurt rain[ACT] you[STAT]
taka ve-u sjiril-a
ice fire-and would-PROG
alü ma ne-re
sad you[STAT] time-DEM
kesay-a
rain-PROG

Rain is falling.
It is summer-
The rain cleans you
The world seems peaceful
You are happy, now
It is winter-
The rain hurts you
Ice and fire are cutting
You are sad, now
It is raining

And in the script (w00t, terrible handwriting):

I haven't really figured out a sort of 'poetry style' for Emitaru yet, so I'm just doin' whatever.

Aert · Joined: 03 Jul 2008 Posts: 354

Unless your conculture has a significantly developed literature, I wouldn't worry about the style of poetry. (Well, maybe if their culture is more strict and hierarchical, enjoying a rhythm and strict rules, like Elizabethan England and it's sonnets etc.)

I can't comment on the flow of the poem in Emitare since I can't hear it/know how it sounds, but the (C)VC nature seems to help it quite a bit; I wish mine was so flowing Smile

The handwriting/script looks quite nice as well, I can see it developing into a swaying vertscript, flowing right/left though the poem (could also help stress some important sections/affixes/juxtapositions). Very Happy

Good luck with your poetry!

Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Mon Jun 29, 2009 12:43 pm Post subject:

achemel · Joined: 29 Mar 2009 Posts: 556 Location: up for debate

It looks nice. Very Happy

I can't write poetry at all, so I'm just impressed by its poetry-ness and more impressed that it's in your conlang. And your handwriting is lovely. (^_^)
_________________
I have some small knowledge of:
English, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Spanish, French
I would like to learn:
Italian, Norwegian, Gaelic
Main conlangs:
ddamachel, tadvaradcel, ra cel, lashel, hemnalg, nomah

Hemicomputer · Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 610 Location: Calgary, Alberta

Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 3:19 am Post subject:

Hemicomputer · Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 610 Location: Calgary, Alberta

killerken · Joined: 30 Sep 2008 Posts: 134 Location: Florida

Great poem! Very powerful. I shall attempt to do it justice in my translation.

Nâlỉo elegaþvỉ ðân.
Stolîtỉlo lârvỉ ðân-
Nâlỉo ârnĉ temamvỉ ðân
Lârnonâr corbỉso lâþvỉ ðân
Lỉlỉsâr ârno lârvỉ, ðân
Tostỉlo lârvỉ ðân-
Nâlỉo ârnĉ mecyuvỉ ðân
Belso lac tolmeno mecvỉ ðân
Vỉŝnâr ârno lârvỉ, ðân
Nâlỉvỉ ðân.

Rain(S) to-fall present-ind.
Summer(S) to-be pres-ind
Rain(S) you(P) to-clean pres-ind
Peaceful world(S) to-seem pres-ind
Happy you(S) to-be, pres-ind
Winter(S) to-be pres-ind
Rain(S) you(P) to-hurt pres-ind
Ice(S) and fire(S) to-cut pres-ind
Sad you(S) to-be, pres-ind
To-rain pres-ind.

That was interesting. In Fỉðâ, adjectives and adverbs follow the nouns/verbs they are modifying. In order to emphasize that the description of the person is what is being communicated, the adjectives precede the noun. Ex:

Cresâr forno trỉsâr lârvỉ ðân. = The green tree is tall.
Trỉsâr forno cresâr lârvỉ ðân. = The tall tree is green.
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Invent: Fidhaas
Learn: Polish
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Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 4:17 pm Post subject:

Cool, thanks!
It's kinda cool that every line in it ends with the present tense marker ðân. Lends it a kind of consistency.

Kiri · Joined: 13 Jun 2009 Posts: 471 Location: Latvia/Italy

Eh, time fore some Emitare poetry in Vr! Very Happy

I couldn't quite understand some things as to what goes with what, so maybe some of the original thought is lost/modified. I apologize for that.

n'Amira amire.
nn Vallana pere.
n'Amira Towi pūre,
nn Mūna kwaran parese,
To fanan peri.
nn Hivra pere.
n'Amira Towi sūre,
n'Isa o nn Wega kulle,
To tristan peri.
amire.

In the Vr's Abeda Smile

And here goes a Latvian version! Very Happy

Assuming, that the speaker speaks to a female Very Happy

It's not too good though Very Happy

Lietus līst.
Ir vasara -
Lietus tevi nomazgā,
Pasaule ir mierīga,
Tu esi priecīga.
Ir ziema -
Lietus tevi sāpina,
Ledus un sniegs griež,
Tu esi skumja.
Līst.

Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Wed Jul 01, 2009 9:45 pm Post subject:

Thanks again! Looks like in both Latvian and Vr the words for 'fall' and 'rain' are the same in this context, so the first line looks like it comes out 'rain is raining' ^_^

And your image link is broken, JSYK.

Kiri · Joined: 13 Jun 2009 Posts: 471 Location: Latvia/Italy

Yes, in Latvian, we don't say "the rain is falling", because it is considered only solid objects can fall (in modern speech, that is Wink

), we use the same word for rain and for any other liquid - "pour" or smth of that sort, so it would literally be the rain is "pouring".
In Vr the rain is really raining, as foolish as it may sound Smile

The image works fine to me... Confused

Hemicomputer · Joined: 04 Feb 2008 Posts: 610 Location: Calgary, Alberta

Image works fine for me, too.

Also, in Drumu:
Hegel ildit.
Ni ąri-
Hegel da drifut
Üflis suftibrak niusit
Da sekre, sibu
Ni iuri-
Hegel da abüt
Sium abakri bęlat
Da leskü, sibu
Hegelat.

rain fall-PRES
it summer
rain you clean-PRES
world peace-EQUATIVE look-PRES
you good, now
it winter
rain you harm-PRES
ice and-fire cut-PRES
you sad, now
rain-PRES

Hmm... didn't really work with the rhythm like the others did. Oh, well.
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Bakram uso, mi abila, / del us bakrat, dahud bakrita!

eldin raigmore · Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 5:26 pm Post subject: Re: Random Emitare poetry

Tolkien_Freak · Posted: Thu Jul 02, 2009 8:56 pm Post subject:

Sorry about that. I can't fix it now (I'm not on my normal computer and won't be until Monday) but I'll fix it as soon as I can.

achemel · Joined: 29 Mar 2009 Posts: 556 Location: up for debate

Kiri · Joined: 13 Jun 2009 Posts: 471 Location: Latvia/Italy

achemel · Joined: 29 Mar 2009 Posts: 556 Location: up for debate

Probably it's just my computer being mean to me... random things go out every now and then. Wink

I'll just hope it shows up one day soon.
_________________
I have some small knowledge of:
English, Japanese, Korean, Chinese, Spanish, French
I would like to learn:
Italian, Norwegian, Gaelic
Main conlangs:
ddamachel, tadvaradcel, ra cel, lashel, hemnalg, nomah

Aeetlrcreejl · Joined: 08 Jun 2007 Posts: 839 Location: Over yonder

Linápàt kí ápés
Is semès
Luklüàt tè ápés
Mulniùn is pela
Kérurat eš tutu
Is gíma
Krüjiac tè ápés
Kafanceš yels áter
Kéràdrat eš tutu
Tot linac

Again, syllables. The lines that aren't "it's summer", "it's winter", or "it's raining" have a 3-syllable world followed by a one-syllable word followed by a two-syllable word. The lines that aren't like that have a one-syllable word followed by a two-syllable word.
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[iocwa_H d`Z`Ot`_h~a_Hk]

killerken · Joined: 30 Sep 2008 Posts: 134 Location: Florida

That's interesting. Is that something that happens in all poetry, or did it just happen in this translation? It makes a neat extra dimension for the poetry.

Edit: Never mind, I just read your post for Abani. That's great!
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Learn: Polish
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